Pandemic Motherhood Diary, Entry 49: Toy Story Lessons
It was Friday, June 19, a day my kids had been counting down to all month long. The trailers for “Toy Story 5” no longer would suffice. They were beyond excited to finally see the movie. I raced home from work, caught a 6:20 show by settling for corner front row seats, and I watched my kids in pure elation. When the 90-plus-minute flick concluded, we talked to our kids about what the movie was about. After several shouted answers, too much screentime being unhealthy and working against building relationships was not something they concluded. But we did.
Our kids have tablets, a Switch game, and television with streaming options galore. Although we are intentional about how much time they spend on these devices, just the very existence of these many options makes us wonder how much time is too much. Are our kids well-rounded enough? Do they spend enough time with other kids? Are we doing everything we can to establish balance in a world that frowns on kids having these devices just as much as it does on them not having them?
Recent studies revealed that the use of screentime amongst children has increased since the pandemic concluded. Smartphones, laptops, games, and tablets have absorbed kids’ attention much more now than before. The use of smart devices in schools is also trending up, adding to the time kids spend on electronics. With more smart devices being created and marketed as teaching tools and even as ways to build relationships, are we doing a disservice to our children and even ourselves if we give in to that ideal?
Without giving anything away, the movie Toy Story 5 struck a chord with me, and I would imagine many parents. Just observing how Lily, the tablet in the film, influenced much of the child’s mood spoke volumes. We live in a world that immediately seeks comfort in handing kids something to play with as a long-lasting distraction. Just last weekend, after the movies, we went on a road trip and, of course, a “distraction” was involved to help our kids survive the three-plus-hour drive. I remember the frustration my kids expressed when I told them to take a break and have some quiet time. It was at that moment that I wondered even more about how much exposure to these electronics is too much. As parents, are we being creative enough in how we help our children spend their free time? Is too much screentime leading to a potential addiction that may influence our kids’ moods?
During the pandemic, we saw a massive shift in how we interacted as a society. For some, isolation made many crave closeness, with loneliness at an all-time high. A hug, a handshake, or any simple embrace couldn’t be felt through a chat on a tablet or phone. Then there were others who found solace in isolation and enjoyed the distance. For me, the movie just reinforced the question of who we want our children to be and who we want to be. Ultimately, understanding that living a life in real time, outside of our devices, is what makes a life the most enchanting.
Once again, without giving anything specific away about the movie, there was a moment when the parents’ realization of their choice to purchase the device for their child was very clear. I would like to think that all of us in the theater resonated with that moment. That we all saw ourselves in that parenting space before and understood that what our child needed more than screen time was actual time connecting with others or with us.
As we move forward with the remainder of the summer, I look forward to ensuring that we continue to create spaces for our kids to do just that. We have scheduled playdates to continue building friendships. We have plans to visit more family members, and we are always creating adventures at home and outside of it. This isn’t to condemn allowing kids to have tablets and games. This is just a reminder that balance matters, and cultivating a healthy social life for our kids matters more.
Melissa Menny is an author with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Journalism and a Masters degree in Criminal Justice. She is a poet and a writer in all aspects. When she is not working, she enjoys painting, music, and spending time with her husband and two sons. This is the most recent in a series of essays about raising young children in the COVID era. Read entry 48 here.
Feature photo credit: Photo by Chris Hardy on Unsplash