Pandemic Motherhood Diary, Entry 15: Thanksgiving With Mom

It has been more than a year and a half since I’ve seen my mom. This year, we decided to have her over for Thanksgiving. The moment we placed her into our car with our sons, I felt a huge sense of dread and nervousness. My mood sank, and I could barely shake the fear. All I could think about was the possibility of catching COVID again and what that would mean for my mother.

My mom’s health puts her in the red or at high risk of being unable to fight it if she ever caught it. She has had two strokes in her life by the age of 53. She has hemiparesis on the right side of her body and diabetes. Between the pandemic and my pregnancies, physical contact between us has been challenging and risky. It has been completely scary for me. My mother facing more health challenges is the last thing I want to happen. 

After many debates and derailed plans, my sister and I decided to get together with some precautions in place. The obvious ones are no cold symptoms, masks, sanitizer, and no touching. Needless to say, there wasn’t hugging at this little gathering. My sister and her two kids, plus my little family and our mom, enjoyed a meal together for the first time in years. 

As soon as I got into the house after picking her up, my husband noticed right away that I was not okay. I was in my head, and I couldn’t focus. I was anxious. Trying to have some sense of normalcy, knowing it was anything but normal. More importantly, spending time with family is harder nowadays when factoring in the danger of COVID. Not to mention, my mother coughs a lot. Always has, even before the pandemic. It made me nervous in the past, but now it worries me. Every time she coughed, my sister would spray the Lysol in her direction. We were both on edge but trying to relish the time spent with our mother.

The reality is life is unpredictable and short. These couple of years has been a huge struggle for me. It has been a tug-of-war between holding my little family closer and wanting to reach out to those I haven’t seen in a while. I have been telling myself that my kids and my husband are the only people that matter. That their safety is priority number one, and it is. However, every now and then, I’m reminded that I need to do more with those outside of these walls as well. No matter how difficult the relationship has been with my mother over the years, the reality does not change. We don’t know how many years we have in front of us. If nothing has reminded me of that, the pandemic surely has. 

In the coming days, my husband and I will finalize the plans for our son’s birthday party. We plan to have something intimate and fun, with precautions in place and a very short guest list. We can’t plan for everything, and no matter how much we try to shelter them, we are still faced with the daily task of helping them live a life. 

I am hopeful and prayerful that Thanksgiving was a success, meaning no one ended up with COVID. I am grateful that we were able to share some laughter together and watch some of our favorite movies.

Most importantly, my mom was able to see many of her grandkids, and they were able to see her. 

This is part of our ongoing series, the Pandemic Motherhood Diary. Read the last entry here.

Melissa Menny is an author with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Journalism. She is a poet and a writer in all aspects. When she is not working, she enjoys painting, music, and spending time with her husband and two sons.