Pandemic Motherhood Diary, Entry 14: Home With Mommy

My husband and I were with our kids at our realtor’s office. Our toddler noticed the Halloween decor right away. “Jack-o-lantern,” he said, while pointing all of them out. He counted the number of flowers in the vases. He even differentiated colors by shades, leaving an impression on our realtor. She asked what many had been asking lately: what daycare does he attend? My husband told her that they are home with mommy. 

The pandemic played a considerable role in our decision to keep our oldest son home. We had it all planned out before the spread of COVID. I even vetted daycares and found one I felt was a good fit for him. But as the number of COVID cases rose, so did my anxiety. Although much of the effects on children weren’t fully realized, just hearing about daycares closing following outbreaks was enough for me to change my mind. I couldn’t find comfort in the idea of letting him out of my sight. Not to mention, we ended up having our second child mid-pandemic as well.

Between COVID and our new baby, we had to rework our plans. While daddy was back and forth teaching remotely and then braving the actual campus, I sought remote work opportunities. Working remotely allowed me to care for our sons while working a flexible schedule. Flexible or not, it has not been easy.

So, what does a typical day look like for the kids and me? It’s anything but simple or predictable. Aside from catering to their needs, such as making breakfast, potty duties, and cleaning, there are educational children mini-shows. We sing and dance together to different phonic and number songs. Sometimes a random game of hide-and-seek sneaks its way into the day. I can never plan for tantrums, accidents, or my toddler’s picky appetite. The amount of food and dishes he runs through is exhausting. Nap time is the cherry on every day. There is nothing better than a peaceful reboot for all three of us, whether I take a nap or enjoy the silence.

Learning is not a timed portion of the day. They are small kids. Learning is all day and in everything that they do. From picking up vocabulary words from our conversations to asking what colors are in his clothes. We are always impressed with the new sentences our son puts together. Or new activities he’s into. This week he is picking up our wall chargers and pretending they are stethoscopes while he presses them against our chests and asks us to breathe. And then there is our baby, who is learning to stand. 

As I observe the COVID cases and assess the future, I do wonder if we will reconsider and send our children to daycare sooner than later. Our oldest will reach school age in a year, and our youngest will be running around the house in no time. Truthfully, I am not ready to think about our kids being out in the world full-time. I am not ready for the added layer of worry that comes with being a parent. The pandemic has increased my panic in a way I didn’t know was possible. I enjoy hearing people call our son smart. It reminds me that I’m doing something right. It also reminds me that right now, I do not have to be okay with the idea of sending him to daycare.

This is part of our ongoing series, the Pandemic Motherhood Diary. Read the last entry here.

Melissa Menny is an author with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Journalism. She is a poet and a writer in all aspects. When she is not working, she enjoys painting, music, and spending time with her husband and two sons.