Pandemic Motherhood Diary, Entry 24: Home From School and Sick

My oldest toddler woke up and happily reminded me that he was going to school that day. Monday morning, August 14, came fast. We had our usual morning routine, but this time, we incorporated putting on his uniform and getting him to the car in time to make his afternoon schedule. The hall door opened. I kissed him, said I love you, hugged him, and let him go. He took the hand of his teacher while looking back nervously at me. No tears. He was brave. My big boy had a great couple of days at school. And by day three, he was too sick to attend the rest of the week. 

I have heard teachers and parents always converse about how swiftly germs pass between little kids. They are always sick, is what I would constantly hear. Of course, that makes sense, considering the very limited boundaries children have amongst each other. They are sharing and touching everything. Plus, they are too young to care about wearing masks. Although my son got in the car and requested hand sanitizer on his own, it didn’t matter. Our son was so sick the first week of school that he couldn’t attend Thursday and Friday. It is alarming to think it only took THREE days for him to catch a cold. 

To further solidify the nightmare, we learned that the attendance policy only allows five excused absences. I sent him to school the following Monday with a handwritten note letting his teachers know that his symptoms have since subsided. He was eager to attend. As soon as we pulled up, he happily called for his teacher, who greeted him with glee at the door. We even created a little ritual where I asked him which superhero he wanted to pick him up from school. I place one of his action figures on the dashboard. Immediately, he knows it’s me in the pick-up line. Between two birthday parties, pretend play, and dance sessions where he let me know the kids chanted his name while he cut a rug, we could confidently conclude he was enjoying school. 

Unfortunately, by week three, he was showing signs of another stubborn cold. He was sneezing and had a runny nose, but according to the school, it wasn’t enough to keep him home. So, what were we supposed to do? We already used two of the five days, which I believe is a ridiculous cap, considering how often smaller children get sick. We kept him on natural medicines and encouraged him to let his teachers know if he got worse. We would come and get him immediately. His teacher also agreed to inform me if he showed signs of progressing cold symptoms. 

He survived week three, but by the end of the week, his sickness took a nasty turn. His three-day weekend, which we had planned to fill with fun activities, turned into a weekend of laying low. He was coughing, sneezing, and vomiting. As a precaution, we decided to test him for COVID-19 just to make sure the nightmare hadn’t returned. Luckily, it was negative. Regardless, his up-and-down cold symptoms had also spread to our youngest and now me. We have spent the last week giving them cold meds and monitoring their symptoms. Needless to say, it hasn’t been a good time. 

We have had several concerns about our sons being “pandemic children” and what that means for them. Although our oldest wasn’t born during the rise of the virus, he was just three months old when we went into lockdown. Researchers have learned of the pandemic’s many effects on the small kids developing during this time. Being more vulnerable to various illnesses because of the need to isolate is one of them. 

As parents, we couldn’t be happier that our son enjoys school. He loves it. However, the reality of sending him to school is hitting us much harder and much different than we expected. I dealt with the sadness of him being away every day, worrying about his safety and how he was being treated. Now, I have heightened concerns about him being ill more than he is technically allowed to be. 

I understand, to an extent, the point of the attendance rule. However, considering in just three weeks, our son has been ill almost every day since starting school, it is ultimately an unrealistic pressure and expectation. We have exposed our son to an environment that he enjoys, but it is also harming him. It is a weird double-edged sword that we didn’t entirely prepare for. We have decided that he won’t be attending for a third day because his wellness is our priority. As his symptoms subside, our hope is he will be happily in attendance for the remainder of the semester. I will continue monitoring and picking him up with his favorite superhero-riding shotgun. 

Melissa Menny is an author with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Journalism. She is a poet and a writer in all aspects. When she is not working, she enjoys painting, music, and spending time with her husband and two sons.

This is the most recent in a series of essays about raising young children in the COVID era. Read entry 23 here.