Pandemic Motherhood Diary Entry 21: Is Three Years Old Too Soon?

My husband and I have been discussing the idea of our three-year-old attending school in person. The debates have involved various questions, considering these haven’t been normal times for us. Is three years old too soon? Is homeschooling an option? Is it safe? And, of course, one of the most prevalent questions of all, what about COVID? 

All of these questions had been floating around for months but never felt real. That was until we received an email informing us that our son was eligible to attend an area school. As my husband read the email to me in little excitement, I paused just long enough to hear a cotton ball hit the floor. Are we really about to send our three-year-old to school? Is he really about to be away, in the care of someone other than his parents?

I have racked my brain for months, wondering and worrying about the safety of my two little toddler boys. To be fair, schools haven’t been safe in America for years. It wasn’t enough for parents to just be concerned about their children potentially dealing with mean kids and teachers. Mass shootings had to become normal as well. Then add the blatant discrimination against teaching Black history and Black literature to the lists of concerns and what it means to be a Black boy in America. To someone else, I am probably being paranoid and unrealistic about how to parent and protect my children. But to be fair, they were both born and raised in abnormal times. They were both babies in a pandemic. Last I checked, I had never experienced a pandemic. No one alive has experienced that. 

So, what does one do? How am I supposed to feel about my firstborn leaving home daily to set foot in a place filled with maskless people and germs galore? This isn’t the normal worry parents had before the year 2020 when kids passed around normal colds. Disgusting? Yes. But it was normal, and they knew what to expect. Nowadays, there is more to be concerned about and that concern has come with a heavy weight to bear.

My husband and I have asked our son if he wants to attend school. His answer has consistently been the same, “yes! I want to go to school.” Our son hasn’t just seen a school in Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood and Cocomelon. He has actually visited daddy on the job once and raved about receiving snacks while sitting at a school desk next to daddy. His idea of school has sped past Circle Time With Miss Monica on YouTube, which he watches routinely alongside his little brother. He is convinced that he is ready for the real thing. How does a parent say no to her jovial child who wants to wear a superhero backpack and play with other children his age?

The reality is you don’t say no. You try to provide experiences for your child who doesn’t understand why mommy and daddy wear masks sometimes. You try to loosen the guards for your child who wants to meet new people and explore different environments. I hate this reality’s unpredictable nature because no parent really knows what to do in these circumstances. I’m sure some parents were just winging it before COVID, but now we are just thrown into the middle of the ocean without any certainty of what to do next. 

We are currently exploring the possibility of our child attending school for a four-hour day, 11:30 a.m. until 3:30 p.m. This schedule will allow him to still have his mornings with his little brother and rest as needed. Four hours would also be our way of testing the waters with our tiptoes to see how it goes, assuming it all goes well. As much as I would love to keep my children home with me forever, I know that is impossible. Our son potentially attending school in the fall is just the beginning of our comfort zone coming to an end. I am grateful for the privilege of staying home with my kids comfortably since the start of the pandemic. I am not ready for either of them to leave home regularly, but we’ll just have to see what happens with every new adventure.  

Melissa Menny is an author with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Journalism. She is a poet and a writer in all aspects. When she is not working, she enjoys painting, music, and spending time with her husband and two sons.

This is the most recent in a series of essays about raising young children in the COVID era. Read entry 20 here.