Can We Truly Go Back to Normal?

Normal is relative. What is everyday to one person is completely out there to another. Before COVID-19, normal was going to work and/or school, seeing friends and family, having a social life, etc. For the last fourteen months, our lives revolved around staying home, wearing masks when we were outside, and generally avoiding any activity that increased our risk of getting sick.

With millions vaccinated and the number of Americans who have caught COVID going down, the country is starting to re-open. The most recent announcement from the CDC is that Americans who are fully vaccinated no longer need to wear a mask when inside, with a few medical related exceptions.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I am not quite ready to leave my mask at home.  Even though I got my second dose, the anxiety of possibly getting COVID is too powerful. When I heard that Bill Maher and a handful of Yankees players and coaching staff tested positive despite being vaccinated, I knew that I would remain masked for the time being.

My company sent an email out a few weeks ago that we will be going back to the office in June. We will be in just for a day to clear out our personal effects to allow the layout to be COVID-proofed. The tentative date for which we will be returning to work in person is TBA at the moment. To be completely honest, my uneasiness is kicking in at the idea of no longer working from home. Being in close quarters with my colleagues, which once gave me a high, is concerning to say the least. As much as I miss the social and communal aspect of sharing the professional environment, my anxiety tells me to stay where I am.

Before March of last year, going out to a restaurant to eat was a routine act. Over the last year or so, I’ve ordered delivery and takeout, but I have yet to eat anywhere that was not outside or in someone’s home. That changed on Mother’s Day. Walking into the diner should have felt strange. But it didn’t. It felt right. Granted, we were all wearing masks when we were not eating and there was a limited seat capacity due to state and local law, but I was not as apprehensive as I might have been. It felt lovely and natural to eat out for once.

After more than a year of constantly being reminded to wear our masks and not leaving home unless it was absolutely necessary, being free of the COVID restrictions feels odd. The constant reminders to wear our masks, social distance, and limit venturing outside of our homes have become so ingrained in us that doing a complete 180 is not as easy as it is made out to be. It requires a change in mindset that is as altering as being COVID-aware was 15 months ago.

Though this is the sign that many of us have been waiting for a very long time, I don’t know if we are ready to let go of the reticence that the disease has created.

Adina Bernstein is a New York City born and bred writer, who like many writers, has a day job to pay the bills. She has been published in MovieBabble.com, How to be a Redhead, and The Mighty, among other publications. She can be found on Twitter and Instagram at Writergurlny. You can read more of her work on her blog https://writergurlny.wordpress.com/ and on her portfolio https://adinabernstein.contently.com/.