Pandemic Motherhood Diary, Entry 23: In Need of a Solo Date

Question: what do you call a couple with a one-year-old, a three-year-old and a long list of responsibilities who are still trying to navigate the pandemic? Answer: two people who are desperately in need of a solo date. 

Well, the day finally came. After walking on pins and needles the entire day, uncertain if it was actually going to happen, it happened. We went on our first solo date since December 2019, and it was glorious.

My husband and I had been trying to figure out how to get back to us since having our first child. The pandemic happened when our oldest was just three months old. Then a little over a year later, we had our second son. We scratched our heads, wondering if it would ever be possible for the two of us to go out? There was the threat of the virus, which is still real. Then there was the worry of leaving our small kids, especially knowing we are their comfort. The concerns halted us. Unless it was an emergency scenario, like me giving birth to our second son, there was never an urgent enough reason to leave our kids with anyone. The idea started to feel like a fantasy. That was until we finally leveled our guards and decided to go on a date.  

My sister came over to care for our kids for at least two hours. Our oldest was very excited to see his aunt and two of his cousins. We knew that he would be fine. But our youngest was the wild card that we dreaded leaving behind. He would be the determining factor for future reference. Following their naps, we got dressed and tiptoed to the front door. Me first. My husband, second. We darted to the car smiling from ear to ear, and drove off into the sunset. 

We had an eventful evening that started at the arcade and ended at Wal-Mart. It was fun and nostalgic for both of us. Before we married and had children, we had several dates that we did often. The movies, a bookstore, and the arcade. We always went to an arcade for some lighthearted competition with one another. This time was no different. Our favorite game to play against each other was Mario Kart. Traditionally, we couldn’t leave without racing each other. Just when I thought I was going to finish second, my final maneuver led me to victory. 

We couldn’t go home yet without roaming the store aisles together. We thought to ourselves, when was the last time we shopped alone together? We made the most of walking shoulder to shoulder, free of any interruptions. That was the part of the evening that I enjoyed the most. Being able to pause with just each other was a moment I didn’t take for granted. I savored it.

Upon returning home to our favorite little people, who I tried not to obsess over while we were away, it seemed to go exactly like I thought it would. Our oldest was having the best time, and our youngest was falling apart. They were happy to see us. I don’t know when our next date will be or if there will be one any time soon. We may have to wait a little longer because of our youngest’s meltdown. However, I am happy that we got to make a new memory. We can now say that we went on our first date since having kids, and it only took us over three years to do it. 

Melissa Menny is an author with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Journalism. She is a poet and a writer in all aspects. When she is not working, she enjoys painting, music, and spending time with her husband and two sons.

This is the most recent in a series of essays about raising young children in the COVID era. Read entry 22 here.